Encounters with the Drunk African Male

I had a lot of trouble with my shoulder all weekend. I wondered and considered until finally I remembered, by God I remembered. The beginning: I had attended the wedding of a former workmate purely under duress. On leaving the wedding I was informed that my presence was EXPECTED at the evening party so since I was accompanying my baby I decided to shelf the excuse and suppress the exhaustion for the good of the dude. As unexciting as the party was I stuck it out, for the sake of the chap again and by midnight I was contemplating a quick exit that included a bee-line to my bed. However after a few smiles and the promise of good things to come, I put on a tight-lipped smile and braved another hour. Ooooh how I wish I hadn’t. seemingly fascinated by this chic that their friend had brought to the wedding, his pals made their way one by one to size me up and see if I was worthy of him. One in particular had some mad storos that he felt I should know before the night ended and that my friends is where the torture begun. The end: With every point he made he emphasized by depositing a good slap on my back just below my right shoulder. At first I humored him after all how many points can he possibly make? Bad decision!!!!!!! Needless to say after twenty minutes of PAINFULLY animated conversation, I had had enough, I had lost all feeling in my right arm and shoulder and I was running out of tissues to wipe my face with as he seemed to be spraying more that he was saying so I pried myself away from his presence and made for the door. I was going to be anywhere but where that chap was. After making it very clear I was done for the night, we left.
At one point in between slaps, it was like I had left my body as I was watching it being slapped from across the room. I remembered in that moment that my sister had once been in a similar, albeit slightly different situation-see Proud Nyeuthi’s blog for details on the Encounters with the Afican male (Kenyan edition). The lesson: Prou I apologise for laughing at you then and I hope to God neither of us has to suffer at the hands of these Kenyan men ever again. The bottom line: I am taking a stand against ignorant batterers of women. Fellas, please spare us the grief and the medical expense. Despite what we claim we do actually have delicate dispositions and we do bruise easily, be gentle!