Peep-WHO???!

I’ve had it. I can’t take it anymore. I thought I could ignore it but I can’t. It’s too much and now they’re everywhere. They absolutely suck!

Like with many other fads that hit this heavily influenced country of ours we are eye-ball deep in the peep toe one. Don’t get me wrong, some fads are palatable and those that aren’t, make for good sport, at least for me and my kind. So in true Bata (Kenya) style they have again taken it upon themselves to create an affordable equivalent of the said peep toe shoe. Unfortunately, like most of their other attempts it has failed miserably and yet not so much.

Correct me if I’m wrong but the essence of the peep toe is for …..the(preferably ‘A’) toe to peep! Right? WRONG!!!!! Our dear pals at Bata have managed to actually create a PEEP-FOOT! Honest I kid you not. Its soooo disturbing it makes me weak.

I get that the actual peep-toe is quite costly. I just recently purchased my first pair (I’m big on shoes not fads) and its working good especially at that cost (maybe I should throw in a photo…ill think about it). Focusing on my point, the Bata alternative is obviously cheaper but is it really?

If the definition of cheap is taken at cost only then it is cheap and/or affordable by all means BUT if the definition of cheap includes also the appearance a shoe gives to the wearer then believe me when I say that that shoe is too costly to be that CHEAP. After all when you have three, sometimes four WHOLE toes “peeping” it ceases to be a peep-TOE (notice that it is singular not plural) and therefore does very little to add value to your outfit.

If you remember how quick we Kenyan ladies are to pick up and run with fads (don’t even get me started on the skinny jeans (pencil as they are called in Nai) and you have a pretty good idea of what I’m talking about. Where two or three are gathered there you will find them, sometimes on all three. So all over Nairobi city, and who knows where else, there are perhaps hundreds or thousands of very well dressed women walking around in the new and improved peep-foot.

Our desire to be “in” with the crowd has completely blinded us and lowered our sense style to nothing. If you can’t afford the peep-toe for the love of yourself, and all who know you, please don’t settle for the peep-foot. The again if you can afford to buy a peep-foot then feel free to save a little longer and buy an actual pair of peep-toes. If you’re reading this and you already own a pair, tough! you're not beyond help though. The whole point of struggling to save and buy a pair of sexy shoes is so that you can wear them knowing that not only do you look really hot, everyone else knows it too.

So ladies, LIBERATE yourselves. If your going to be a slave of fashion you might as well do it with a bang and not halfway. Don’t give anyone a reason to laugh at you; rest assure we ARE laughing. try this for size, its what I do when I’m dressing in the morning, on most days anyway, ask yourself this: “ if I saw me walking on the street what would I think?”

It really pisses me off when you see a mama walking in the street looking guilty as hell REASON: you can see she just knows she looks silly/bad. She has this pleading look in her eye that says ‘please don’t judge me!’. But how can we not? Even YOU know you look bad. Don’t get me wrong I know things are thick and we’re all battling with inflation and high oil prices but you don’t need money to look good, it helps a lot but its not everything. A lot of the really crappy stuff we were is actually what costs a lot.

LESS IS MORE is a good motto to dress by but so is dress for your body type. A lot of the things we hear being said on Oprah or Tyra or whoever is actually solid advise. We all can’t wear the same stuff 'tis not possible. Pick someone you know who’s dress sense appeals to you but who also has the same body type as you and try it out. SLOWLY! You’ll be amazed by the outcome.
Wearing skinny jeans and peep-TOES does not work for all of us. My ass in skinny jeans takes on a life of its own so much so I’m even afraid to wear them in the presence of my boyfriend. So I stick with the straight and/or boot cut jeans.

So again I urge, ladies can we liberate ourselves from fashion fads, more so the ones that jus make us look utterly stupid? If not rest assured I will endeavor to laugh at your expense but don’t feel bad though, I only laugh at the things you can change!

Eureka!

I stumled upon this blog as I was reading the latest Mimi Magazine, which I recommend to the ladies (www.mimimagazine.com, a magazine for african women enjoy), feel free to check it out and see that we all seem to suffer the same bull while we are out there 'in the world'.

www.stuffafricanpeoplehate.com

its very entertaining.

Women and the eternal quest for beauty!

I was sitting at home flipping channels when I happened upon a documentary on Al Jazeera tv. It was about the practice of Gavage in Mauritania. Gavage basically means force-feeding. While the world at large strives to make women ever so thin, Mauritania has other ideas. The tradition of force feeding women and girls to make them fat thus beautiful is as old as the desert itself. Featured were two little girls who, sitting in a shed made of Mabati and fenced in with wire mesh, were being fed (forcibly) couscous and cow’s milk. These girls eat and eat and eat until they can’t eat any more, they throw up and then they eat some more all in the name of being beautiful. Other foods that girls are generally fed include millet and porridge in very very large quantities every hour or two without fail.

As a result of this practice, many women in Mauritania are overweight/obese and are at risk of heart disease, organ failure, you know the list. Despite these obvious dangers and the government’s efforts to discourage the practice very many women still practice gavage. In the city and towns where seating and eating all day is not an option, where women have jobs the alternative is drugs to boost appetite, that bloat the body or help retain water. However many of these, now banned drugs are cheap imports from India, China, etc sold right under the noses of the authorities have, as expeted, not so good effects. Women, especially those who are uneducated and/or from poor back grounds, even resort to taking drugs that are meant for animals. Even those meant for camels!!! A doctor interviewed said that they had dealt with many women who had liver failure, among other medical issues, because the drugs they took were meant for animals. The package even has the picture of goats, cows and camels.

When the father of the two girls was interviewed, he said that he was force-feeding his wife(s) and daughters because “it is a sign that your wife is well cared for and the neighbours won’t think you are poor”. It seems having a thin wife in Mauritania is in fact an admission of poverty.
Fortunately, the practice is slowly dying out and the percentage number of women and girls who are being force-fed has fallen more than 20% in the last 2-4 years especially in the metropolitan areas this however is not the case in areas further away from town and more so in the desert. There is no law that bans gavage, only laws that against practices that may harm children though there are government initiatives to educate people in the dangers of gavage.

Many women have become aware of the dangers and are taking steps to lower their weight as well as taking the decision not to force-feed their daughters. Women are seen walking regularly and some steer clear of the milk and millet that got them there in the first place.

It’s good to know that there are places especially on the continent that still appreciate the African female figure however not at the cost of the lives of these women. There are countries where a big behind is considered beautiful but again women feel it is necessary to put their lives at risk by taking and injecting drugs that are said to increase bottom size. Perhaps we should stop trying to become things that we are not and stick to what we truly are. Let’s maintain our health and leave the rest to Mother Nature and the powers that be. If you have it, flaunt it, if you don’t, flaunt it anyway. Are you really ready to risk your life to be someone else’s idea of perfection? Why don’t you look in the mirror and and say “Self, you are one hot mama!” and leave it at that. After all, the size of your bum won’t change the price of oil now will it?

Bloggerised!

It’s amazing how many kindred spirits one can have out there. Total strangers who for whatever reason seem to get you. Hear me out. How many blogs have you read or even just random posts that make you feel like someone literally looked into your heart and put down exactly what they saw. Funny enough it happens to me ALL the time, honest. While it does make me freak out for the first five seconds, it also assures me that I am not, in fact, totally psycho.
I was single for a long time, well kinda because even when I was dating a guy I still felt single. What’s the definition of single anyway? I digress. Most of the time I’d start dating a guy knowing full well that it wasn’t going anywhere, at the time it didn’t seem, really it didn’t. So I’d smile and text and call and physically participate in the dating process while my heart was neatly tucked away in a vault. I was basically numb at the time. I’ve been secretly in love with my pal for eons so my heart was never really mine to give anyway. I'm slowly getting over that though. I gave myself a time-out to make up my mind if I was going to go on living like that.
I’d see people in love and my heart would fall right into my stomach each time. It became such a familiar feeling I even learnt to welcome it. At first I’s see a couple and I would just want to die. My heart would start racing and I was sure people were looking at me sympathetically wondering “when will she get there?” It was horrible. My fear slowly turned into hostility. Subtly bubbling under the surface eating away at me daily. Why did they have to hold hands? PDA should be an offense punishable by death, etc etc. Sounds crazy doesn’t it just remember these were my private thoughts. I was simply jealous.
So I put on my tough face every morning and went into the world carrying all my demons with me. What I was really afraid of and still am is not dating or even being in a relationship, what I’m most afraid of is getting my heart broken. I’ve been there sooooo many times they’ve given me free membership. Once o fall for a guy, the easiest thing he can do without so much as an effort in crush my heart into a pulp. Funny thing is I’m the easiest person to break up with. I won’t ask why. I’ll just ask if you’re sure then I’ll walk away.
I dated a guy once who did everything he could think of just to get a reaction out of me, he’s still waiting. He’d say things like “you know I almost played you jana at the hanye?” so I’d ask “did you?” “NO!” “ok.” Finally when I got fed up with being baited I ended it. Wololo! The guy became tight! Cursed, insulted and yelled till he realized she’s not listening anymore.
So now I’m in this amazing relationship. I call it amazing coz I’m finally in what resembles a mature relationship and hard to believe though it may be, tis my first! First mature relationship that is. Don’t get me wrong there are moments when I doubt, many more still when my madness threatens to rear its ugly head but other than that I’m cool. So now I have become the thing I long resented. I’m the hand holding, kissing in public, gazing at each other lovingly people. Ugh! it’s disgusting and I love it! Ha! No really I catch myself grinning for absolutely no reason. I’ll be driving around or reading a book and suddenly I’m grinning like an idiot. True it’s probably from remembering something or other be it an sms or a twinge in some part of my body that reminds me of the last time we hang out. The other day a guy passed me in the street wearing his scent and I had to stop walking. My knees literally went weak. If I’d been walking fast I swear I’d have fallen flat on my face. That’s when I know I was hooked on the bugger! Basically I’ve become stupid again. Except now I can’t even bitch about other people doing it.
I remember when my sis started dating her boy friend and we’d be bitching about couples around us, the moment she opened her mouth we’d all look at her like she was crazy especially because they are the absolute worst. They literally can’t keep their hands off each other. Now, it’s me. I’m not complaining though, the alternative is not as fun as this.
So instead of cursing out the couples I see, much as I’d like to, I smile and move along swiftly. After all there are enough weaves and badly dressed people out there to keep me busy. I won’t be greedy.

Have a wicked day!!!

Oooooh GROSS!!!!!!!!!!!

Some people can be sooooooooooooooooooooo gross! No really I’m serious. I like to listen to the radio when I’m working. So in order to do so without bugging everyone else around me I like to use my earphones. So on this particular day the storos on radio were really hilarious so I was cracking up in my own little world as I went about my business. Suddenly a random dude who’s been threatening to “harass” me (his words) picks up the one earphone (the kind that goes INTO the ear) that is hanging and then….wait for it…STICKS IT IN HIS EAR! Now on most days I have no problem sharing my stuff but I draw the line at sharing things that enter any and all body openings. And then the nut expects me to go on and pot it right back in my ear. I almost passed out! It’s the equivalent of putting your finger in someone else’s nose. No really it is. Don’t think so? Ok imagine what happens when you find earwax on the earphone, as I did, said nut is trying to get you to put back in your ear?
Common sense and basic hygiene all suggest that susha things are not done. If you don’t share your toothbrush or your dildo then why in God’s name would you share your earphones? Then again if you’re the kind of person who does share these things then feel free to ask before you share. Others might not be as generous.
So I went about cleaning my earphone until I stopped feeling like gagging then I put a hex on him hoping to never see him again. Unfortunately we work for the same company so that might be difficult.
Na wanaume ndio wana tabia hiyo sana, not that mama’s are exempt but wamezidi. Nguys, let’s get serious.