Will the good guys please stand up?

I’ve finally figured out the big mystery. Not nearly soon enough but then better late than never, right?

Anyway, women are always complaining that there are no good guys out there. The truth of the matter is that there are more than enough good guys out there.

I will admit that I have only recently left the school of thought that argued that all good men are either taken (married/engaged/in relationships), gay or your friends. It is a good speech to feed yourself when you try to figure out what’s wrong with you or what are you doing wrong. Console yourselves ladies that there is in fact nothing wrong with you, well...not really anyway.

The truth is that where guys are concerned women are divided into two categories: potential wife material and fun-times girls. So...which one describes you then?
If you’re wife material then I sympathise with you because then you and I are in the same boat.

You are the ones who guys can have intelligent conversations with about sold out markets, the ICC, pirates and the price of oil.

You are also the one he is more than willing to take to a company dinner, office cocktail or networking fete.

You make plans for coffee and lunch, dinner and a movie; drinks at the quiet lounge with the piped music and the well picked out mingle at his house.

He cooks for you and does the dishes, even when you cook for him and insists on helping you if you really must do them yourself.

He calls you almost regularly, remembers your birthday and you can talk all day via email or chat about nothing in particular.

He knows exactly what you drink and how you like it and even gone as far as to order for you before you even get there. He’s an almost perfect gentleman.

He makes sure you get home safe and calls the following day to thank you for the good company, make sure you’re ok or just to say hi.

He talks about family and kids and his mum with you. He’s comfortable with you, maybe even a little bit vulnerable.

He makes references to what a good wife and mother you’ll make and may even sometimes how you would make him a good wife but always in jest.

You’ve never had sex even though you came close that one time when he said he wanted to take it slow.

He’s not ready to settle down yet and with you that’s what he wants so he doesn’t want to “mess it up!”

If on the other hand you are a fun-times girl, then I also empathise. You are the exact opposite of the wifey.

You never know what the plan is until you get the call. Each conversation begins the same way: “Where are you? Si you come to ________ (insert name of bar/house party location here).

The only time he calls you in advance is to find out if you down for the weekend getaway. It’s never a party without you after all.

You never do anything together, just the two of you, or in day light for that matter, except that regular visit to the bar or to a house party. Oh and don’t forget to bring your hot girlfriends!

He never remembers your birthday and if he does, it’s just because it’s yet another excuse to get plastered.

You hardly know a thing about his family or his job except for where he generally works but you know each and every one of his watering holes and of course his drinking pals.
Whenever you talk about settling down or getting married he, and his pals, burst into laughter at the mere thought.

He’s always telling you how much he likes you but always keeps his distance when you’re in public. NO PDA! His rules.

He’s just not ready to be in a relationship but he keeps making reference to “her” and how she would make a good girlfriend/wife.

He never does the dishes when your around and even has the nerve to ask you to “make us something, since you’re up” and you were just going to the bathroom or to get a drink of water.

The long and short of it is that good guys are out having such a good time living life, what with a good job/career with even better prospects and a considerable disposable income, that settling down is the last thing on his mind. What he has done it put down a blue print of what he sees as his future thus saving him the trouble of having to do it later but that IS for later.

So the next time you meet a guy and you’re not sure where you stand with him, look at how he treats you and you’ll know exactly what he thinks of you. Whichever way you fall it’s up to you to decide if that’s where you want to be.

If you’re not happy about it then I guess you’ll have to do something about it, won’t you? If you’re sitting at home wondering then what’s wrong with you and where all the good guys are? Then they are having a good time hoping you’ll stick around and wait for them to be done having a good time. If you’re sitting at the bar wondering why he doesn’t see you the way you see him then I hope this helps you figure that out. Just remember that it’s not going to be you he picks when he’s done having a good time. His blue print is safe at home away from all potential ruin waiting for him to be done having a good time.

I am no fun-times girl but I don’t plan on sitting home wondering if and when he’ll be done having a good time. What do you say ladies, lets live a little!